Thank you for the Advice

Advice. Suggestions. Recommendations. Wanted. Unwanted. Imposed. So many people telling us what we should do, what we shouldn’t, how to do it (often as an introduction to their particular solution). And the subjects – relationships, exercise, food, resilience, etc. The list is endless.

It’s a lot to think about. And what is true? And will it work for you? And how much will it cost?

I’m not going to tell you that I have THE answer. I don’t. I know how to help people and it’s only one way to do so. It’s not the ‘truth’ or the ‘right’ way, but it is the way I work. It’s not for everybody.
But there are some things that I have learned and that I believe. You may not agree with me. That’s fine too.

A lot of these you may be very familiar with, and yet don’t let that familiarity lead you to dismiss them.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right” Henry Ford.

Yes, that quote. It’s true. It doesn’t tell us how to get from where we are to where we’d like to be, but it is a distillation of an essential truth. If we could truly realise that then our lives would be very different.
(Interestingly that may not be the quote – here is an interesting article about it from Quote Investigator)

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
This is from Frank Herbert’s book ‘Dune’.

Personally I like the first bit – “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. “

So it is fear that stops you thinking you can or you can’t. A fear of ‘something’. I don’t know what that fear is for you. You may know very well, or only have a vague idea.
I have some ideas about my fears. Yes, me. I have fears. Yes, they are something that I have to face. Or not. That’s the choice isn’t it? Face them or don’t.

There are alternatives to facing your fears. Perhaps they are really useful to you and are serving you well. Perhaps they’re not though. Maybe your solutions have become your problems.

I’m not saying that therapy is the answer. It’s a good place to start though. And that all begins with a conversation. Or are you afraid of that too? Maybe you’re just saying to yourself as you read this, “Thank you for the advice”.

Side note (well, a post-scriptum strictly): Of course fear has its place. I should fear some things. It prepares me for them, makes me aware of them. It stops me blithely walking out into the road without considering what vehicles are approaching. My fear of being killed is a strong motivator, for me at least.)

And if you’d rather just drop me an email then please do.