I’m working with more men than before.
A friend of mine, who has sent men my way, offered some interesting insights. She believed that what I offered is not like ‘therapy’. It’s not what a lot of people expect when they think of therapy.
We base our understanding on many factors – direct experience, opinion, and wider representation.
We may have had therapy and therefore have some direct experience.
Our friends or family may have had therapy and they share their opinions.
Therapy as it is represented in wider society and represented by the media.
I have my own ideas. I used to believe that therapy was sitting in a smart, professional, clinical office. I would be sitting opposite a smart man or woman who did a lot of listening. There’s not much talking by them and I’d pay a lot of money over a long period of time.
That happens of course. And that may appeal. Equally, it may be the reason why you don’t talk to anybody.
It’s not what I offer though. I offer genuine conversation. I offer dialogue and I’m not afraid to share my opinions and experiences. It’s challenging, humorous, and direct but also offers space for clarity and discovery. I don’t pretend that I don’t have my own challenges.
You’re working with a man who has made mistakes, who is still learning and still finding their way.
I have a range of approaches available and I’ll use whatever will be useful. I don’t do things because I can or because I want to ‘do’ something. I don’t have a set process (you’re not simply another client to be put through the process).
All change is a conversation and I record that conversation so that you can listen back to it. The benefits of doing so are clear and are often mentioned in feedback.
It is possible that I’m not the right therapist for you. You might want to sit in that room every week. You might want to believe that that’s what therapy is.
But there are alternatives and different ways of dealing with your issues. You may well find that like other men who have benefitted from working with me that my approach is the right one for you.
I invite you to have a conversation to find out for yourself.