Anxiety – a mental condition characterised by excessive apprehensiveness about real or perceived threats.
Even as therapists, no matter what the approach, we never know exactly what it is that is going to make the difference. For some the process is the important aspect – the journey rather than the outcome. I’m focused on the outcome; after all clients are paying me to work with them to make a positive difference.
I offer change and intervention rather than care and support, if I have to make a binary distinction in approach.
In my work I am always looking to get the client to decide for themselves what is helpful and what is no longer helpful. I prefer to work in the ‘here and now’ – how are they maintaining the problem so that it remains a problem rather than finding out what caused it and reframing that.
What beliefs are they holding onto that are maintaining or creating the problem, what feelings they have that contribute to unhelpful behaviour in particular situations. I have a range of approaches and explorations to help them determine that and then to do something about it.
It is not a simple ‘this is problem x, so I’ll do technique y’. It’s simplistic. You tell me you’ve got anxiety so I do what I do for anxiety, irrespective of your specific circumstances. Perhaps it’s not anxiety. Maybe anxiety is your symptom of what’s going on. I’m looking to discover how you do your problem, irrespective of what you call it. What’s the recipe that creates your particular issue. If I were looking to create this problem in somebody else what would I need to do? What would need to be present?
I don’t know what it is that I’ll say in a session that makes a difference. I don’t know what you’ll hear that makes a difference.
This applies to me too. I still work on my ‘stuff’. Let me share what my focus has been in my own work. It’s simple – I care too much about what other people ‘might’ think about me. That’s it.
It’s not uncommon and in fact it’s all too common. What will others think?
I’m not looking to get to a place where I don’t care at all about what others think. I don’t want that concern to stop me doing things. Small things. Big things. Things I say, things I share.
Like this blog for example. Instead of writing what I want by sharing my opinion, I was worrying about what might happen by doing so.
I’ve worked on this for a very long time. It has improved and yet something was still there. I’ll switch to metaphor for this – I was still holding myself back, or something was holding me back. I couldn’t move forward in the way I wanted.
I’ve read books, had therapy, discussions with other therapists, friends, etc. It’s been useful. It didn’t make ‘the difference that makes the difference’.
And then something did.
I was revisiting my knowledge and understanding of IEMT (Integral Eye Movement Therapy) with a trainer online. We spent time going through the material. It was the two of us. We worked together using our own issues to practice with – why wouldn’t we? Therapists have issues.
Towards the end of the training we were talking about an aspect of the work and my situation. We used that to practice. The work didn’t take long – no more than ten minutes in total.
I can’t even tell you what has changed. Only that it is different and I know that because of the change in my behaviour. I don’t feel held back. Tasks I used to struggle with or procrastinate about I no longer do. Behaviours I had have ceased without issue.
I don’t feel the same. I am not a different person. I am behaving differently.
Is it effective for everybody all the time? No. That’s not within my abilities. I don’t believe it’s within anybody’s.
We’re not always ready to do the work. We don’t know what aspects of the work are going to have the impact that we’re looking for.
You might find it in my work. Or you might not. You may find it in crystals and angel cards and a more spiritual exploration. You may find it in hypnotherapy/hypnosis. You may find it in regular running. I don’t know. And nor do you. That’s why continuing to do the work is important.
And if what you’re doing isn’t working then please, do something else. There’s a difference between persistence and beating your head against a brick wall. That’s an obstacle and it’s a painful experience trying to make a breakthrough.
What do you think? Why not share your thoughts by contacting me?